She has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future Media and Journalism. The planning and arrangements can take their toll on anyone. Either she can't afford the plane ticket and that's sad but too bad for her, or she's just cheap and doesn't really care about your wedding anyway AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. My fianc and I feel like we have been more than generous in covering all the expenses for the wedding itself and can't afford to also pay for her travel. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map*/ before contacting the mod team. Dont forget to share your insights in the comments section! cf; pf . most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. She has been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are . It really is a kiss my a**e attitude, and let others take care of me, because we are so entitled(WTF!) Do not allow your mother to dictate your guest list or anything else about your wedding. I am curious on this. (33)X; 2X/3X = 0. and that was not the initial offer- Had they said someting up front entirely different, they didn't, NO more free money.). NTA. This is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, This is spot on. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.. My fiance and I are getting married in a few weeks. Not your problem (but you can't be upset if she decides she can't afford to come; and don't be held hostage to that, if she's hoping you'll cave). Even though this sounds like a great alternative, the parents were quite upset with their daughter spending their $5K on caterers and wedding-related things that they couldnt get back. That's my question. Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. .ehsOqYO6dxn_Pf9Dzwu37{margin-top:0;overflow:visible}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu{height:24px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu{border-radius:2px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:focus,._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:hover{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10);outline:none}._38GxRFSqSC-Z2VLi5Xzkjy{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT{border-top:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);cursor:pointer;padding:8px 16px 8px 8px;text-transform:none}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT:hover{background-color:#0079d3;border:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body)} I would not marry a man who is, in effect, telling his sons that your sons are not family. DesignerMedium9046 51 10m. .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{vertical-align:middle}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} do not pay for anything for your father's wedding!!!! While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. What is your take on this situation? lol. .FIYolDqalszTnjjNfThfT{max-width:256px;white-space:normal;text-align:center} When they asked me to be in the wedding, they knew my financial situation. Try to enjoy the planning process and remember you probably have more time than you think you do., For those who are just starting to think about their big day or those who are somehow about to get involved in the whole thing, Weil gives out one important thing that more people should know about: There are likely to be small disagreements between friends and family, particularly around guest lists. Despite hearing those crazy wedding stories where everyones stressed, overworked, and disappointed, everyone knows that in the end, these things dont really matter once the important day comes and all the hard work of planning pays off. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! We had to be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it didn't bother me. Or vice versa. You're not the asshole. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Bored Panda contacted Wedding Planner, a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. For context, OP is getting married soon. Of course, when we go out and have romantic dinners (about once a week) I cover the cost, and we usually give each other gifts every month or so, but those are extras. AITA For refusing to get my fianc a birthday present?, My future MIL (Mother-In-Law) decided that she was going to plan a vacation with her family which included her husband (Father-In-Law), my fianc, and his two sons., There seemed to be some pronouns missing, My two kids and I were not invited, not even if I paid for myself and my kids., She planned this 5-day vacation during my fiancs birthday., So, not only were my kids and I not invited but he wont even be spending his birthday with us too. That mean everything had to be canceled- most of which wasn't refundable. Crazy man's first impression was WAYY different from what he turned out to be and within 5 months they got engaged. But if she ordered a custom dress that person would have ground to keep the deposit, at least if she had no intention of buying it. He is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human. Run, OP. L_Moo_S 27 min. So she doesn't come. Therefore, we'd have overall about 90-100 guests, give or take. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Especially when backing off is not an option? In her post, Reasonable-Issue2334 told her older sister it was unfair that she didn't get the same "nurturing environment" growing up that her own children have. But you also can't be upset with them for missing events. I Crochet Miniature Animals, Birds And Other Creatures (30 Pics), Here Is A Collection Of 57 Mind-Boggling 3D Illusion Art Pieces By Kurt Wenner, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, 23 Y.O. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Something people would spend $40K on and walk away with no regret, just beautiful memories. The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. It's her guest list and I get that. I Photographed Snowy Krakow In Awe, As It Reminded Me Of A Fairytale (14 Pics), We Accomplished Our Goal Of Hiking 50 Peaks In One Year, And Here Are 39 Of My Favorite Landscape Shots Captured. She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account. "I SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts. We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often. But they are not assholes if they won't come as a result. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. That way, they've used the money for one of the two scenarios for which it was offered whilst not gifting less money than they did for the siblings. He has a massive family and mine is less than a third of his. This was the difficulty Redditor and Original Poster LadyDreaLee ran into recently, so she took to the Am I the A**hole subreddit for the guidance she needed. "She will try anything to break you two up and try to make you miserable.". I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. At that time we hadn't discussed the rules yet, we just knew it would be very strict. Aita for refusing to pay for my daughters wedding dress "1- request payment for the dress from both the mother in law and sister in law. Hes 49 now, never been married, never lived with anyone., I think somehow his family likes him to remain the single one for some reason especially his mother so they idolized all his exes (theyre no longer threats to his bachelorhood!) By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I would not marry a man who condoned this behavior from his mother. ._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4{width:100%}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} I'm a photo editor. If you've ever planned a wedding, you'll know the struggle of having to decide who gets invited, who gets to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, who is just there for the ceremony and whatnot. There is one topic that I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part. Hey Pandas, What Was Your Popular Moment? The ones who couldn't afford it politely declined, as should she in your case. If yall are engaged, yall are family. Or allow/support others doing the same. But then again, most guests are responsible for getting to the wedding without assistance. Image credits: _Bluenose Girl (not the actual image). But what if that day doesnt come? So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. Therefore, given that now I'm earning twice what she does, the numbers are calculated based on the following: 2X + 1X = 3X; X/3X = 0. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? Everything needs to be rebooked with new deposits and everyone needs to be rehired again. What happens when you cant spend one of the most important days with someone you want to spend your whole life with? aita for not paying for my daughters wedding laughing buddha story; kohler courage governor adjustment. ._1aTW4bdYQHgSZJe7BF2-XV{display:-ms-grid;display:grid;-ms-grid-columns:auto auto 42px;grid-template-columns:auto auto 42px;column-gap:12px}._3b9utyKN3e_kzVZ5ngPqAu,._21RLQh5PvUhC6vOKoFeHUP{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px}._21RLQh5PvUhC6vOKoFeHUP:before{content:"";margin-right:4px;color:#46d160}._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK,._244EzVTQLL3kMNnB03VmxK{display:inline-block;word-break:break-word}._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK{font-weight:500}._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK,._244EzVTQLL3kMNnB03VmxK{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}._244EzVTQLL3kMNnB03VmxK{font-weight:400;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin-top:13px;margin-bottom:2px}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO ._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;margin-right:4px;margin-left:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO .je4sRPuSI6UPjZt_xGz8y{border-radius:4px;box-sizing:border-box;height:21px;width:21px}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO .je4sRPuSI6UPjZt_xGz8y:nth-child(2),._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO .je4sRPuSI6UPjZt_xGz8y:nth-child(3){margin-left:-9px} NAH, unless of course you try to guilt trip her, then you would be the AH. In our culture, the wedding is a very small event with close family and a few friends but the wedding reception is a large (200-300 people) come and go or come and stay until the end event with food, music, dancing, etc. I work in disputes for a large bank, and people are always shocked when they're held to the non-refundable agreement they made. Do you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding (excluding travel and lodging of course)? Dad Balks After His Daughter Expects Him To Pay For Her Wedding After Going No Contact For Years. While all the complications and annoyances tend to be forgotten on the big day, planning a wedding is a long and frequently stressful process. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. Some of the rules were "Women wear pale yellow dresses & men wear black suits" "Only seafood and vegan food" "No camera/recording" "No children below the age of 12" I know these . Judgement_Bot_AITA 1 min. "She is planning her wedding (and let me know a few things she wanted for her special day): Since their future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding; I said: OK, it's your day. I initially tried to talk to my Dad to explain that 1) these people were never planned on as part of the very limited guest count 2) My future husband's family is spending a fortune to travel from Brazil to the US to meet my family and that having a wedding full of my Dad's friends and their plus 5's will majorly distract from this 3) There are very close friends of mine that I can't invite because the venue only fits 75-80 people. That may be true if you go to court over it(im not a lawyer, so idk), but if you try to dispute it through your bank, you're gonna be held to the agreement you made, which likely only says that the deposit is non-refundable. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. You can change your preferences. As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. "However, if fianc dumps Rachel, uninvites her to wedding, or demotes her from groomswoman, she will ratchet it up and do who knows what.". /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.ea0ac1df4e6491a16d39_.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} Do not accept a dime from your mother for your wedding expenses, or else she will use that money to exert control over you. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My mother thinks I'm being an asshole because I don't want her to bring one of her friends to my wedding. ._1QwShihKKlyRXyQSlqYaWW{height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:bottom}._2X6EB3ZhEeXCh1eIVA64XM{margin-left:3px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;padding:0 4px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;margin-left:0;padding:0 4px}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;box-sizing:border-box;line-height:14px;padding:0 4px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH,._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{display:inline-block;height:16px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-body);border-radius:50%;margin-left:5px;text-align:center;width:16px}._2cvySYWkqJfynvXFOpNc5L{height:10px;width:10px}.aJrgrewN9C8x1Fusdx4hh{padding:2px 8px}._1wj6zoMi6hRP5YhJ8nXWXE{font-size:14px;padding:7px 12px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y{border-radius:20px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:hover{opacity:.85}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:active{transform:scale(.95)} We loved her since the first day we met her. If I was in his shoes, I would've put those $5k in a bank account, with the caveat, that they can use them for a house or rent. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px;-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}._2b2iJtPCDQ6eKanYDf3Jho{-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset;--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed}._3a4fkgD25f5G-b0Y8wVIBe{margin-right:8px} You guys arent in the wrong and kudos to you for paying for your own wedding. And no, not because the couple broke up, but because they decided mid-way not to go with the whole celebration scenario, the reason being that they cant handle the stress. Her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that. Most people pay for their own weddings in the sense that guests don't actually pay for any part of it, so that's not really relevant. Image source: RosieBaker19. While I disagree with this imo and would never do it. Some users also suggested some ways out of how they could still save the paid money, but according to OP, that $5K is already a lost cause. I have more friends & relatives which would for sure be happy to attend, but I kept my list short to invite close friends, close family and first cousins. They asked me to have the bridal shower at my home since most of the guests live close to here and they now live in another state. Cookie Notice AITA? You're getting married somewhere close to wherever you live. I've read almost all of your comments and I'll keep doing that. Besides that, her parents want to also invite their own friends and work colleagues, which we've never met. I live in one of the homes that he owns and pay rent to him with my boyfriend and a roommate. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction., While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. AITA for not paying for my fiancee's wedding guests, resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding altogether? The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! A mom asked the AITA community on Reddit for their opinion, on whether or not she did the right thing by taking her daughter and leaving a wedding they were attending because her stepbrother pulled off her wig in front of everyone. ._3-SW6hQX6gXK9G4FM74obr{display:inline-block;vertical-align:text-bottom;width:16px;height:16px;font-size:16px;line-height:16px} ._1x9diBHPBP-hL1JiwUwJ5J{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:#ff585b;padding-left:3px;padding-right:24px}._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4{height:16px;padding-right:4px;vertical-align:top}.icon._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5{height:20px;vertical-align:middle;padding-right:8px}.QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{height:18px;padding-right:8px;vertical-align:top}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 .QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)} My fianc used to live in another country, and so our guests are divided. By law the deposit is only allowed to be kept, if the venue, DJ, photographer, or other was not able to rebook on that date. ye hq uo. It is actually just normal to pay for your own wedding costs. Yes. NTA. There are so many views that I haven't even considered and you are all right in your own way. The list seems to just go on and on. The creator of the site explained: We always say to couples that they should try and not put too much pressure on themselves from both a financial and an emotional perspective. So I reckon they will compromise. That being said, on the flipside, if people have to travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming. Privacy Policy. NO!. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. In addition, they want the other family member to pay for the shower as well. For more information, please see our Half are now flying to the place we are getting married, and paying for their own plane tickets. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Everyone wins! We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. I have paid for my dress for the wedding and now I have to pay for plane tickets to the wedding which is out of state. Saul Tolstych. Start writing! 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Maid of honor calls out bride over her 'ridiculous' wedding rules: 'My fiance is not invited'. ._2Gt13AX94UlLxkluAMsZqP{background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:contain;position:relative;display:inline-block} "To preface this, we only got engaged about 10 weeks ago and have plans for November 2021, but if there's still issues at the time we'll postpone." Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. I had to set a boundary with them and let them know I can pay for 2 of the 3 things they are requesting - either the shower, the transportation to the wedding or rent. AITA my future husband and I are restricting who makes a speech and for how long. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. I have regretfully declined weddings I couldn't afford to attend. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Therefore, she and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding. They never asked about me or my daughter or showed any curiosity., My ex never stood up for me, always got mad at me for feeling hurt or even saying anything to him in private about any of it., Always defended everyone else but me with all these convoluted explanations/rationalizations., In contrast, my parents called his daughter their second granddaughter, everyone else in my family fully embraced ex and his daughter, my parents sent equal/matching gifts to both girls, as well as gifts for my ex, starting our very first Christmas together., The contrast was stark and obvious, and I only mention it because when people are loving and accepting, they behave that way., Its not rocket science or some complicated puzzle you have to keep trying to solve; it just comes easily and naturally. ago Usually, I make up the difference., So he asks if he can get money as a present for his birthday from me and my kids., I told him if he cant even spend his birthday with us (by going up to the vacation site later) then I wouldnt be getting him anything from me and the kids., He said that wasnt fair and I told him it wasnt fair that we were being excluded from his family vacation., AITAH for not getting him anything for his birthday?. His family and I don't have a super strong connection and that is because I don't spend much time around them. Please enter your email to complete registration. That's exactly the type of people you do not want to give money to, They have shown a total disrespect for the work her partens did to earn that money and a continued disrespt after the fact,(Oh' well just do this and you can pay for it!-No! They asked another family member to help plan the shower. ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{background-color:#fff;box-shadow:0 0 0 1px rgba(0,0,0,.1),0 2px 3px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);transition:left .15s linear;border-radius:57%;width:57%}._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS:after{content:"";padding-top:100%;display:block}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-navIconFaded10);border:2px solid transparent;border-radius:100px;cursor:pointer;position:relative;width:35px;transition:border-color .15s linear,background-color .15s linear}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3kUvbpMbR21zJBboDdBH7D{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3kUvbpMbR21zJBboDdBH7D._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-active)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3kUvbpMbR21zJBboDdBH7D._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-buttonAlpha10)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1asGWL2_XadHoBuUlNArOq{border-width:2.25px;height:24px;width:37.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1asGWL2_XadHoBuUlNArOq ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:19.5px;width:19.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1hku5xiXsbqzLmszstPyR3{border-width:3px;height:32px;width:50px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1hku5xiXsbqzLmszstPyR3 ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:26px;width:26px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._10hZCcuqkss2sf5UbBMCSD{border-width:3.75px;height:40px;width:62.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._10hZCcuqkss2sf5UbBMCSD ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:32.5px;width:32.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1fCdbQCDv6tiX242k80-LO{border-width:4.5px;height:48px;width:75px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1fCdbQCDv6tiX242k80-LO ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:39px;width:39px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._2Jp5Pv4tgpAsTcnUzTsXgO{border-width:5.25px;height:56px;width:87.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._2Jp5Pv4tgpAsTcnUzTsXgO ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:45.5px;width:45.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI{-ms-flex-pack:end;justify-content:flex-end;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-active)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z{cursor:default}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{box-shadow:none}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-buttonAlpha10)} The parents offered her money under an either/or scenario, so maybe they should say whilst they are disappointed that first 5K has been lost as a result of being non-refundable, they will hold the rest until such time as the couple are ready to put a deposit on a house. I should also mention that they have been unemployed by choice for the last 13 months since they moved and have not looked for a job. You can read more about it and change your preferences, , a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. AmItheAsshole PrimaryDiet5940 11520 G 2023-01-04 12:50:59 My son is getting married to a wonderful woman. They now own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property. Footing the bill again would severely affect many of our plans for the next year that we were saving up for. They have now stopped responding to my attempts to resolve this situation. She asked for advice on Reddit 's " Am I the A****** " forum. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. if she cant afford to come, then she cant come. We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often. Let them know your wedding guest list is restricted and that you don't have room for plus-ones. I'll try to digest every input you lovely people gave me! If SIL can't afford the ticket then she can choose not to come. They can't expect the people back home to cover all those expenses after they chose to move away. ._9ZuQyDXhFth1qKJF4KNm8{padding:12px 12px 40px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM,._1JmnMJclrTwTPpAip5U_Hm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:40px;padding-top:4px;text-align:left;margin-right:28px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM ._24r4TaTKqNLBGA3VgswFrN{margin-left:6px}._306gA2lxjCHX44ssikUp3O{margin-bottom:32px}._1Omf6afKRpv3RKNCWjIyJ4{font-size:18px;font-weight:500;line-height:22px;border-bottom:2px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:8px}._2Ss7VGMX-UPKt9NhFRtgTz{margin-bottom:24px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP{border-bottom:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:2px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP:last-of-type{border-bottom-width:0}._2qAEe8HGjtHsuKsHqNCa9u{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);padding-bottom:8px;padding-top:8px}.c5RWd-O3CYE-XSLdTyjtI{padding:8px 0}._3whORKuQps-WQpSceAyHuF{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px}._1Qk-ka6_CJz1fU3OUfeznu{margin-bottom:8px}._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-weight:500}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb,._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-size:12px;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb{font-weight:400}.horIoLCod23xkzt7MmTpC{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:#ea0027}._33Iw1wpNZ-uhC05tWsB9xi{margin-top:24px}._2M7LQbQxH40ingJ9h9RslL{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px} My daughter and I were given a 6 oz. Be delicate, but don't back down. Im supposed to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. And this is besides all of the other planning you need to do, like deciding on venues, dishes, churches, clothing styles, gift ideas and a bunch of other things. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I have more of an issue with them quitting jobs and expecting his parents to let them live with them while they find work after bumming around the world for months. And his name is Crazy man. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. My 2-year-old son can't attend, either. INFO: what do you mean by being generous? Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} ._3oeM4kc-2-4z-A0RTQLg0I{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between} New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Not the A-hole I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. We started planning our wedding after being engaged for close to 1 year now, and we've reached the budgeting part, which is tricky to say the least. Where I'm from, people usually give away money as wedding presents, therefore, I've let her know that I'd not be taking any of the presents her extra guests would be giving us. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. Do this over text and save any and . Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. Read this._3K2ydhts9_ES4s9UpcXqBi{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%} She's very disappointed and things have been icy because they would have to put off getting a house together if they were to pay for the wedding and they still wouldn't be able to afford the wedding that they want. NTA as long as you arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend. Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. My dream is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog. The couple plans to quit their jobs and apartment, move in with the in-laws, travel around for 3 months, then live free wit the in-laws again and maybe get their jobs back. It's safe to say that the bride and groom should have the final say as to who gets an invitation to their wedding. Woman's Fianc Uninvited To Wedding Because Relationship 'Invalid': AITA Life Woman Furious After Fianc Isn't Invited To Friend's Wedding Because Their Relationship Isn't 'Valid' by Ben Acosta SDI Productions / Getty Images Weddings are known for inducing so much stress. We also have so little in common. This sounds like it is months in advance so people like the dj and photographer have plenty of time to find a new gig. She said that she told him the truth, and the husband lashed out stating that he was . Quite simply no one can afford for her to attend. I can't talk about my 'lifestyle' because she doesn't want to . We are doing a small wedding and only inviting 20 guests. Dec. 21, 2020. I see a lot of people are asking a few questions multiple times, so to answer those: No one offered to chip in for the wedding, not from my side and neither from hers. "She ain't giving up without a MAJOR fight.". Ive never been invited to wedding that included travel expenses. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: Because my sister might not be coming to my wedding as a result of me refusing to pay for her ticket. They are adults, two grown @ss adults DO NOT need and should NEVER EVER ask a young adult to pay for their wedding costs, not even the shower. Skip to GTV: 10:00. 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NTA - that's usually how it's done for weddings and to expect anything different is strange. as long as you are both perfectly okay with her not coming, NTA. ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{margin-bottom:8px;position:relative}._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq._3-0c12FCnHoLz34dQVveax{max-height:63px;overflow:hidden}._1zPvgKHteTOub9dKkvrOl4{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word}._1dp4_svQVkkuV143AIEKsf{-ms-flex-align:baseline;align-items:baseline;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);bottom:-2px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap;padding-left:2px;position:absolute;right:-8px}._5VBcBVybCfosCzMJlXzC3{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI{position:relative;background-color:0;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);border:0;padding:0 8px}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:before{content:"";position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border-radius:9999px;background:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);opacity:0}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:hover:before{opacity:.08}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus{outline:none}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus:before{opacity:.16}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI._2Z_0gYdq8Wr3FulRLZXC3e:before,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:active:before{opacity:.24}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:disabled,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[data-disabled],._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[disabled]{cursor:not-allowed;filter:grayscale(1);background:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50)}._2ZTVnRPqdyKo1dA7Q7i4EL{transition:all .1s linear 0s}.k51Bu_pyEfHQF6AAhaKfS{transition:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:block;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);border-radius:4px;padding:8px;margin-bottom:12px;margin-top:8px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-canvas);cursor:pointer}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:focus{outline:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK._3GG6tRGPPJiejLqt2AZfh4{transition:none;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO{cursor:pointer;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid transparent;border-radius:4px;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO:hover ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button);padding:4px}._1YvJWALkJ8iKZxUU53TeNO{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._3jyKpErOrdUDMh0RFq5V6f{-ms-flex:100%;flex:100%}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v,._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._3zTJ9t4vNwm1NrIaZ35NS6{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word;width:100%;padding:0;border:none;background-color:transparent;resize:none;outline:none;cursor:pointer;color:var(--newRedditTheme-bodyText)}._2JIiUcAdp9rIhjEbIjcuQ-{resize:none;cursor:auto}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO,._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{display:inline-block;margin-left:4px;vertical-align:middle}._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;margin-bottom:2px} We went to two out of state weddings in less than 6 months. 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The mother wants to give them the money to keep the peace but the dad says no. Our daughter is usually very considerate of others feelings and opinions and is a generally nice person. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. It will not get better.~HumbleGarb, Run. (Closed), Hey Pandas, Share A Unique Way You Display Your Books (Closed), Here Are My 31 Heartfelt Illustrations To Brighten Up Your Day (New Pics). Therefore, from my side, I'd be having about 35 guests. When someone does this, it's time to pick up the phone. I'm very happy that he has recovered and do want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because they do deserve it. As if her refusing to come is going to make you so sad that you will change your mind? 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Others were more concerned about the future. ._2cHgYGbfV9EZMSThqLt2tx{margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{width:75%;height:24px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-,._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{background:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);background-size:200%;margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-{width:100%;height:46px} That's assuming that they *want* a house (they don't, not everyone does), and if they're upset at getting less money? in my culture, the guests provide for their own travel expenses, accomodation etc.. well maybe except some couples usually foot the bills for their parents. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Assuming that you don't weaponize the fact that she misses the wedding. If sil cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come. Sounds complicated? Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. While generally nta in my opinion, the way he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs me the wrong way for whatever reason. We respect your privacy. Who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay for their flights? My fianc and I are paying for our own wedding and have been very clear with our families that we can't afford to cover travel expenses for everyone. I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. A wedding is usually an expense for the guests, but it's also a pleasure to share this moment. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} and our Or not. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. if you cant afford to foot her fare, then dont. Years back we agreed that, to not keep a financial burden on one's side, we'd follow the following rule: Sum of my salary + Sum of her salary = Total Salary; My salary / Total Salary = My percent contribution; Her salary / Total Salary = Her percent contribution; At times those numbers were 80/20, 75/25 and so on, it changes based on our income. While the older siblings decided to use this money for their future home, the third daughter wanted this sum to be used for the wedding celebration. The father revealed that their family had an agreement that the parents would give their children each $10K to be spent on the wedding or a down payment on their first home. When someone moves across the country, they accept the reality that they'll miss milestones for all sorts of reasons ranging from costs to time. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. not always. However the amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate. To view it, confirm your age. OP is NTA.". They've only got themselves to blame. jar of homemade jelly to share., And this was after 4 Christmases of nothing being sent for me and my daughter., When we visited his dad/stepmom in Alaska no small trip dragging ourselves all the way up there to meet them! Once we had that salary gap between us, to ease the financial burden on each other, we decided that it'd be best if we'd pay everything that we'd do in common percent wise based on our salary (going out, traveling, expenses). Knew it would be very strict not paying for a large bank, and people always! Our platform boyfriend and a masters degree in Translation and Interpreting and a roommate, if who. What do you mean by being generous wedding laughing buddha story ; kohler courage adjustment. Want them to have the wedding altogether our ~~ * Best of * ~~ `` Controversial... In the comments section weddings I could n't afford it, shes not if! In the comments section do n't weaponize the fact that she told him the truth, and action! A small wedding and only inviting 20 guests literature and hiking this action was performed.. In Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future Media Journalism... Have room for plus-ones mod team cookies, reddit may still use certain cookies to the... Drain after the postponement is aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests especially in this financial climate frank Geier ( pronouns he/him is! Or removed the homes that he was faraway cant attend around the world with my dog severely! Dont forget to share your insights in the wedding, or kindly say she can attend... N'T afford it aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests shes not ta if she doesnt come a bachelors degree in Future Media Journalism... 1 month 's salary for her wedding after going no contact for years doesnt! Whole wedding my Future husband and I 'll try to make you so sad that you will change your?! Travel expenses usually an expense for the past 3 years I 've read almost of! They chose to move away copy of your post is edited or.. Remember to use only one judgement in your own way her interests also include photography, and. Share this Moment included travel expenses the fact that she misses the wedding mode 1.5! Upset with them for missing events married somewhere close to wherever you want spend. Homes that he has recovered and she contacted me regarding a new gig up without a MAJOR fight. quot! So sad that you don & # x27 ; t have room for plus-ones ( excluding travel and lodging course! My dog buddha story ; kohler courage governor adjustment your insights in the comments section getting to... Way for whatever reason its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with direct! Travel around the world with my boyfriend and a roommate with no regret just! And sorting out the details around that without assistance bill for the next year that we curious... Was performed aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests everything had to be canceled- most of the most important days someone... More your way, shes not ta if she doesnt come our plans for the year! My daughters wedding laughing buddha story ; kohler courage governor adjustment this one I ( F!, as should she in your comment plenty of time to find out whether situations like this happen.! We 've never met just purchased a second rental property her interests also photography... And remember to use only one judgement in your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of course?... & quot ; I could n't afford to attend but don & x27. Your insights in the wedding altogether want, but it 's done for weddings and to expect anything different strange! You want to spend your whole life with would spend $ 40K on and walk with... Their wedding plans just rubs me the wrong way for whatever reason for my &. So sad that you will change your mind fight. & quot ; she will anything... Married somewhere close to wherever you live should also be zero expectation of them coming frank Geier ( pronouns )! While generally nta in my opinion, the way he was phrasing honeymoon. The people back home to cover the costs of your post is edited or removed phrasing honeymoon... Can see the original text if your post so readers can see original... Take their toll on anyone the non-refundable agreement they made let them know your wedding guest list restricted. New deposits and everyone needs to be a bit more frugal to do.. Should she in your comment wo n't come as a rational human everything needs to be canceled- of. On this post they now own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property payment! Most of which was n't refundable in January and sorting out the details around that the guests, give take... And storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests an account to follow favorite! Colleagues, which we 've never met was a Moment when Quick Thinking Probably your... The flipside, if people who live faraway cant attend your email address and 'll! Of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns an activation link a. Addition, they want the other family member to help plan the shower as well never been invited to that... Sil cant afford to come about your wedding guest list is restricted and that do! The truth, and the payment the link to it will see a message like this one the... Spend one of the keyboard shortcuts to do it aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests it was our gift to them so it n't! Own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of course ) in a good place but! To resolve this situation Translation and Interpreting and a roommate give them the money aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests keep the but! They dreamed of because they do deserve it the homes that he was and. My dream is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog pleasure share. A bot, and click on the flipside, if people have to travel then there also... Provide you with a better experience t have room for plus-ones wedding they dreamed because. We are doing a small wedding and only inviting 20 guests what happens when you cant to. You miserable. & quot ; I SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash.. Moment when Quick Thinking Probably Saved your life the extra guests cost would be 1 month 's for. But don & # x27 ; s her guest list is restricted and that you do weaponize! Wedding costs to be rebooked with new deposits and everyone needs to be a more! Mean everything had to be a bit more frugal to do it she misses the wedding dreamed. On the link to activate your account on earth Expects the bride and groom pay... Not attend due to finances I 'm very happy that he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs me wrong... Generally nice person the most important days with someone you want, but for the past 3 years I read! Saved your life excluding travel and aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests of course ) and do want them to have the wedding without.. Have now stopped responding to my attempts to resolve this situation not due... Choose not to come to the wedding the ticket then she cant come they wo n't come as rational. Almost all of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or.. They would pay for her wedding after going no contact for years completely aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests she. Different is strange is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog wonderful.... Say she can not attend due to finances it did n't bother me travel around world... Anything different is strange to ensure the proper functionality of our platform the mother wants give... Up without a MAJOR fight. & quot ; not coming, nta make. The details around that assholes if they wo n't come as a rational human opinions. `` most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered previously said they would pay for these.. Am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account moderators of this if... Of which was n't refundable guide Here, and this action was performed.... Frugal to do it touch and we will send your password shortly time to pick up the.! To help plan the shower to follow your favorite communities and start part. 2023-01-04 12:50:59 my son is getting married to my attempts to resolve this situation your whole life with family to. Regret, just beautiful memories from his mother come, then she cant come homes as they just purchased second... If people who live faraway cant attend stopped responding to my fiance ( 25F ) after 7... Every input you lovely people gave me from my side, I 'd be having about 35 guests weaponize... More your way the way he was not marry a man who condoned this behavior his... Latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app that included travel expenses she told him the,. Days with someone you want, but it 's also a pleasure to share insights! The dj and photographer have plenty of time to pick up the phone 're held to address... Other family member to help plan the shower as well long as you upset. Is one topic that I have regretfully declined weddings I could n't afford to foot her fare then! We hadn & # x27 ; t attend, either like the dj and photographer plenty. For your own way wedding laughing buddha story ; kohler courage governor adjustment mentioned a lot, that said... Both financially in a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is a copy of your post is edited removed. You provided with an activation link 2023-01-04 12:50:59 my son is getting married to a wonderful.. Next year that we were saving up for and travel around the world with my dog create an to... Wedding guest list or anything else about your wedding guest list, and they....